Clueless Child...:)

Facing Reality...

I've became a dream, always shooting way past the starts, crushing on people who were so sure of who they are, I try to be strong, & keep growing closer with God, lately I've felt fake, felt more and more like a fraud. My bestiez annoy me, make me want to scream, I play basketball but, I feel like I have no team. We play together, quite well at that but the truth is the after fact. Who does the Lord want me to be? Are my dreams truly a fantasy? Being judged by people, who have no idea who I am. My school bag is messy, everything so crammed. Who are you to read this and think you know me? Who am I to not want you to see? I'm a girl...with so many thoughts, beliefs, and dreams. A girl who so very often lately, wants to yell and scream. My best friend, my coach, they all seem to kid around. What they haven't realized is how much lately, they've brought me down. I may smile but, lately I have thoughts that are mean, I'm turning into one of those so far-off teens. Why can't I think..Why can't I reason? Everywhere I go, it feels like my heart is changing season. You think you know me? You know who I am?

This is me depressed...Not giving a crap...Feeling like Kabaam!
What am I to do? What am I to say? Want to know what makes me feel this way? Being home, like now, I feel all alone. No one agrees with my plans for my future..Everyone things I should stay. Who are you? Who are they?

Dear Lord,
please don't let my heart feel like this again tomorrow or any other day..

Please you invisible guns that keep shooting me in the head... Leave before you make my already beaten heart turn a different shade...of red. Otherwise known as, dead..



Steph Alderson
As depressed as can be...
My God is still great though! He will give me strength and heal my heart!! He will put all this pieces back in order! I love you Lord!!:) Love, your daughter. Please make me laugh and smile.. Turn me back into that clueless child. Ha, I'm already feeling a little better...:)